The Night of the Fallen Heart
by the lurker
Summary: Vignette taking place after The Big Blast. Artie feels the pain of loss and regret. Just a ditty....


THE WILD, WILD WEST  
The Night of the Fallen Heart  
by the lurker  
  
_What Artemus is trying to say is will you marry him?  
  
Lily's face lit up with a smile as she grabbed Artie's arms, Oh, Artemus, I love you, I do... but, I can't marry you.  
  
Artie's face fell, and Lily explained.  
  
It's just that I can't live your kind of life. You'd always be disappearing, or exploding, and well, I'd never know if I was kissing you or some bomb!  
  
Artie grabbed Lily hard by the waist, Well try me...  
  
He pulled her tightly to his own body, covering her mouth with his in an intense kiss. He barely had time to deepen it when the champagne cork exploded, startling Lily enough to break from him. Artie glared at Jim, who smiled and delivered champagne all around....._  
  
Artie closed his eyes tightly to keep the tears from falling as he relived the painful memory. He knew he would never find another woman who would complete him the way Lily did. She had been his one chance at that kind of happiness, and it hadn't meant to be. Giving up the Service had never been an option, not even for the one woman he truly loved. Or had it?  
  
He inhaled a large breath of cool desert air, and took a long drink from his coffee cup. He watched the sun begin to set over the large canyons of rock in Arizona. There were deep colors of red, orange and yellow mixed in with blue and white. It was beautiful. Artie was sorry she wasn't there to share it with him. But then, he had left both Jim and Lily in New Orleans in order to take a little time by himself to try and overcome his shattered core.  
  
Even in the beauty of the Sedona desert, he couldn't keep the pieces of his heart together. As he looked north watching the shadows of the setting sun play over the red rocks, he knew it would never get any better. Artie understood that the pain would never lessen, and that he would never again experience love like the one he shared with her. There would never be another Lily, and if he had been a courageous man, at that moment in her theatre dressing room, he would have renounced the Secret Service. He would have quit, and married her.  
  
Why had he lacked the courage? Artemus took in another large gulp of air, trying to calm himself. There was no going back; what was done, was done. But Gordon knew he would spend the rest of his life wondering what would have happened if he had been able to act on the love inside of him instead of the habit that had become his entire existence. He drained the last of his coffee and tossed the cup into his saddle bag. He went about the business of collecting firewood. He would need it in order to keep the fire going throughout the night. It would be a cold one. Despite the fact that it was Spring, the nights in the desert were always chilly.  
  
The sun extinguished itself under the horizon as Artie finished collecting pieces of wood. He pulled out his bedroll, and lay down upon it, staring up at the stars. The best thing about being in the middle of the desert was the fact that the stars were bright in the night sky. He plotted the little dipper, the big dipper and Orion. Then he saw one fall with the same ease that had ravaged his heart. Artie closed his eyes and silently wished that someday he would have another chance at love.   
  
And yet he knew it could never happen. There was no such thing as a second chance, and he was old enough to know it. The truth of the thought plundered his heart into the depths of despair once more, and tears fell off his face, dripping onto his blanket. He felt hollow and lost; he didn't know if he would be able to return to Jim and the Service. Hell, he didn't know if he could work at all anymore. His world had blown apart in the single instant when Lily said no, and now nothing else seemed to matter.   
  
With the stars shining down upon him, Artemus Gordon cried himself to sleep, dreaming the colors of lost love.  
  
The End  
  



End file.
